In 387 A.D., Saint Ambrose said, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do” and that saying has endured even until today and will endure beyond because it is sooooo true.
I have a message for lurkers (who will hopefully some day join this blog or another blog). While lurking, be sensitive to the personality of the primary writer of the blog.
There are some blogs that allow for arguments. I’ve seen blogs where people say horrible, disrespectful things to the blog owner/writer, and that writer simply laughs it off or takes it in stride. I’ve seen blogs that tolerate filthy language and its owner uses such language.
But…I have seen blogs where the owner tolerates no nonsense. It is very important to adjust yourself to the community that you are in. Why do I bring this up? Because yesterday I visited a blog. I know the personality of the blog owner. He is a no-nonsense type. He does not mind people disagreeing with him, but if someone is disrespectful, he will ban the person.
To my surprise, a woman was making a lot of snide remarks to him, which he tolerated at first. When she saw him tolerating her snippy remarks, apparently she thought she could kick it up a notch and she became beligerant towards him. And he drew the line, banning her.
It was an interesting exchange because I also did not agree with him on some of his stances. Yet, I remained 100% respectful of him and he and I were able to have a pleasant conversation. That’s the way it should be. You don’t have to insult someone simply because you don’t agree with them.
To watch my exchange with him, as opposed to her exchange, one would understand why he banned her. She went too far.
When the Bynum – Weeks controversy erupted, I was sooooo upset. I could not believe a man would beat, kick and stomp a woman like that. It stems from a beating I watched when I was a little girl. I was outside playing when I looked up and saw a man beating a drunken, little petite woman so horribly. And it devastated me to see her just take that beating without trying to defend herself.
That image of that human being will be with me forever. I still see her face. So when Weeks beat Bynum, it took me back to my childhood of seeing that woman being so horribly beaten.
What I like about my blog readers is that 99% of them were sensitive to my feelings and were veeeeeery cautious about the way they handled the discussion of Bynum-Weeks in the beginning. When they disagreed with me, they did it in a way that was easy to take.
Now that I’m over the shock of him beating her and I’m not as upset about it, the readers are now speaking their feelings stronger because they are in tune with me and they know that it’s okay now to let it all out. LOL!
But do you understand what I’m saying? When in Rome, do as the Romans do. And if that won’t work, remain quiet for a minute.
This is simply a Public Service Announcement to the lurkers.
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Mandela turns 92
Haiti Housing
We can’t lurk anymore
We have been forced to join
Right,
Once you are in the community, that’s it. You are no longer a lurker.
But…there are some who come here daily to lurk. They only read the articles (and email them to friends). Some day, hopefully they will join in. So it’s a good thing they are lurking first, to get a sense of the community.
Hello Lynn,
I looked at what you wrote today and wondered, “Hmmm, is she referring to people like me? I ain’t no ‘lurker’!”
Actually, I found your blog when the Bynum-Weeks situation occurred at the end of August. I visited your site several times a day because I knew that you were going to report thorough and accurate information. I would email people your perspective on the issue and encourage them to read it and consider what you had said.
I have grown up in the church and been exposed to everything from Catholicism to Pentecostalism, so I am not really thrown off by any comments whether I agree with them or not. I understand that we will not all agree about everything. My personal convictions are based on my study of God’s Word and what I understand is TRUTH, not that of a particular denomination or doctrine.
I actually decided to become a part of the discussion when I read what you wrote about Weeks after ‘the fog had cleared’. There was never really anything that I disagreed about in your previous blogs, but I was one of those who knew that ‘the Holy Ghost must be behind the article’ you wrote.
‘Have I ever, even for a fleeting second, pictured myself hurting another human being—or God forbid, even sending someone on a expedited trip to heaven…or hell?’
Yes, I have… although I have never acted upon it. And… the feelings escalated when the person was someone who knew me well enough to know which buttons to ‘push’ and proceeded to ‘push’ them in sequential order to ensure an unfavorable response from me.
Over the years, I have learned not to allow people to ‘take me there’ at all. And by ‘there’ I mean any place where my emotions are out of control… even if it simply causes incessant crying and hyperventilation, as in my case. One of the fruit of the spirit is self-control and I have been challenged to deal with any situation that I allowed to have control of me. Now, I can see situations coming a mile off. I can actually sense them in my body, and if I need to, I walk away.
While some have not actually physically lashed out at people, they have put holes in the wall and destroyed some good dishes. And some of us feel we are somehow better than those who lash out physically towards people, but we forget that verbal and emotional abuse that is so prevalent can be seeds that can still lead to physical abuse in us or our children.
Either way, Lynn, I appreciate your perspective. I commend your commitment towards TRUTH, even when it is controversial.
I have been visiting ROME and observing your customs here. I have watched you handle situations and am convinced that, as the ruler here, you are a person who is more concerned about TRUTH and INTERITY than personal gain. That is not always the case.
So Lynn…. some of us who were unresponsive weren’t ‘lurking’, we were just ‘being sensitive towards the personality of the primary writer’ and choosing to ‘remain quiet for a minute’ until that it was okay to ‘let it all out’!
Thanks for giving us a voice,
Drea
Well said Lynn.
I joined this community during all of that Bynum-Weeks drama. One of the first posts I read was where you were banning someone. I immediately knew that this town was run by a tough sheriff. LOL!
But I definitely related because sometimes I wish that I could ban some people from my life. Fortunately this is easy enough to do in the blogosphere but not very doable in real life. Oh well, a girl can dream. . .
And in reality, most people who are rude and disrespectful online would never dare speak like that to another person face to face. It’s cowardly and I’m glad it’s not tolerated here.
Drea,
I’ve seen you around HickTown for a while now (sheriffs see more than people realize). Happy you finally decided to join in! WELCOME!
Everyone, visit Drea’s travel website. You get to it by pressing on her name. Looks good!