I received a call from my mother recently. One of my nieces had called her and apparently had let loose a rash of rage and negativity based on the fact that my side of the family will not be attending her wedding. Most of us are in the Maryland area and for whatever reason, she decided to set up a wedding in Negril, Jamaica in the middle of a recession.

It was obvious though that her rage went waaaaay back. She is angry that my brother (who has had drug issues a great part of his life) never was the father that she wanted. And her anger is mis-directed and aimed at my mother. It’s really sad.

My question is, why do people choose to suffer by holding on to old garbage that they really cannot do anything about? Life happens and it is not fair to any of us. We all have had disappointments and issues. Rage takes so much energy.

I will never forget a conference I attended years ago. The late Minister Carolyn Harrell was the speaker and she talked about some of the trials that she had experienced during her life time. But she said that she chose life and peace. She chose to move onward and upward. She then went on to say that she knew that there were all types of women in the room: women who had been molested, abused, mistreated, tormented, etc. And her advice was “get over it”.

Sounds cold? It’s real. A person can choose to keep holding on to that mess or they can choose to get over it and move on. My brother’s daughter has chosen to harbor rage. She is a very miserable person. Does my brother care? No. He’s running around doing his thing, whatever that is. He is the “black sheep” of the family. Most of us have one. He is totally oblivious to her feelings and if he knew, I’m not sure he would care. He is on a different wave length.

If you are reading this and you are still angry at a family member, a friend, a co worker, a minister, take that mess to the feet of the cross and bury it there. Don’t forget because you cannot forget. But don’t let it rule your heart and your health and your life. Letting go does not mean forgetting. It means allowing yourself to live and experience the remainder of your life in a state of happiness and total peace.

There is no peace in the presence of bitterness. Did you know that? My niece is so bitter that she said she no longer wants to associate with the family and she wants to hurry and get married so she can change her last name.

Sad, isn’t it? While we are running around excited and living our happy lives, that poor girl is just wallowing in the cesspool of mental garbage. Don’t let that happen to you, Reader. I know I’m talking to somebody! Folks who you hold mess against are just as happy as little larks and to hold negativity hurts no one but yourself. It hurts your blood pressure, your emotional state of mind, your mental well being. Release, let go…..get over it!

I found a really good sermon on the topic of forgiveness: