youngmichaelJWe are now in day VII of a VII part series of my ode to Michael Jackson.  He died on Thursday of last week and I started my ode right away.

Anyone who has been following this blog since Michael’s death is aware of the fact that I actually favor his earlier music and performances.  Why?  Because he had not been tainted yet and the “real” Michael was still present.

Like most who loved him, I feel like I knew him personally.  Once he became an adult, I viewed him as that eccentric cousin whom I bad mouth when I see him acting crazy and who I embrace when I see him hurt.

I won’t get into the negatives that the press is concentrating on. I won’t get into his psyche at this point.

What I’ll do is say that it’s hard to say goodbye to this man who I grew up with and who so many others grew up with. Wish there was something I could have done to ease his pain and to convince him that he was strikingly handsome, big nose and all.

He complained about how ugly he felt when he had acne as a teen. Wish I could have been there to tell him that acne is natural in teens. Wish I could have been there when he was being told by his father that he was ugly and that he had a big nose and that he must have gotten it from his mother’s side of the family (she has a small nose, by the way. JOE is the one with the large nose). Wish I could have told him that big noses are part of our culture and to be proud of it.

But I wasn’t there and he is gone and I’m saddened. I did my small part to bless him and show respect for him this week. And in so doing I feel better and my healing process regarding the grieving has subsided. And yes, when I see him on tv or listen to him on the radio in years to come, I’m sure a tear will come to my eyes.

Michael, I have known you since I was a little girl and you wore that bush and that “Apple” hat. I thought that the Jackson 5 were the most handsome boys in the world and one of my brothers looks soooo much like Marlon Jackson so it brought it even closer to home.

The spirit that inhabited you as a child was your true self, and had that spirit continued to reside in you as an adult, you would have kept your face, married a black woman, had your own biological children, and you’d be alive today.

Sadly, the spirit that inhabited you as a child and early teen is not the same one that you died with. Your original spirit was beaten out of you and you died with a broken spirit.

I love you Michael. God loves you more. He is a restorer.  Unlike others, I won’t say that you died unsaved because I don’t know what was in your heart.  I’ll allow God to be God all by Himself!

All I know is this:  I miss you!

GO HERE to see some beautiful pictures of the family