By:  Lynn Green

Diva just sent me a video regarding Michael Steele that captures him perfectly.

I guess it should be funny but it actually shows how ill that clown is.

PRESS HERE

By:  Lynn Green

     Awwwwwww! Hicktowners, let’s all meet at Town Square with a box of tissues. It looks like the victimized gospel singer, songwriter and producer, J. Moss will be needing plenty, as he has fallen victim to his penis.

He appeared in court recently to whine about the fact that the internet has ruined his reputation and negatively impacted his wallet by reporting that he has an out of wedlock baby—they have called him a deadbeat dad because he won’t pay child support.

So…..since he did not show up for his initial court hearing to answer charges, the plaintiff won by default and he was ordered to pay up.

But James does not want to pay! Apparently it’s all his penis’ fault that he made an out of wedlock baby.  Cry me a river!

Here are the facts:

a. James Moss, who writes gospel songs, surely is aware of the fact that fornication and adultery are sins. Even heathens out in the world know that.  Um…but my guess is that his penis did not know, or is such a bad dude that it did not care.  And let’s not forget, James is a victim of his penis!

b. This MARRIED MAN apparently fell victim to his penis. The brain located in his penis took control over the brain located in his head.  (Pass me some tissues!)

Let’s get this straight, Hicktowners. NONE OF THIS is James Moss’ fault. It’s his penis’ fault. Poor James. He’s a victim of his penis!

Since James takes zero responsibility for this adutery, then we must conclude that James’ penis caused him to cheat on his wife and make a baby out of wedlock. Now ain’t that a blip?   Awwww…poor James! More tissues, please!

Look below for a few more of the facts regarding poor James and his misbehaving penis:

As his wife watched, a popular gospel music artist sung the blues in court Thursday, saying a child support case over an out-of-wedlock son has hurt his reputation and ability to earn money.

In a generally civil but occasionally tense hearing, James Moss — better known as singer, songwriter and producer J. Moss — fought efforts by Lakisha Hughes, 28, of Douglasville, Ga., to increase child support by $230 a week from $1,028 a month to care for her child, Christion, while she’s at school or work. Moss defaulted in October in a paternity case and has been making the payments.

But the Bloomfield Township man said he’s been hurt by Web comments and a Detroit News report about the case.

“This has caused a credibility problem,” said Moss, during the two-hour hearing that his wife of 12 years, Melody, attended. They have two children together.

“This has negatively impacted my salary.”

I can’t take it. Hicktowners, WHERE ARE THE TISSUES! Look what Jame Moss’ penis forced him to do, ya’ll. His misbehaving penis caused him to approach a woman who was not his wife. Then he obviously wined and dined the woman who was not his wife. Then he found a place to meet privately with this woman who is not his wife. Then he took off all his clothes with this woman who is not his wife. Then ….. that misbehaving penis of his actually had the NERVE to enter the vagina of a woman who is NOT HIS WIFE.

His penis should be arrested, Hicktowners! See all that his criminal penis caused? Now the woman who is not his wife has a baby by him and he is crying about having to pay child support.

Bad, bad penis. You know, his penis should be ashamed of itself!  Where is the infamous Lorena Bobbit when you need her? What did the bible say? If your eyes offend you, pluck them out? COUGH….would that also apply to the penis?

SOURCE

*COUGH* My apologies to the “holier than Thou” crew who like to monitor the writers of this blog.  I know that “penis” is a bad word and should never be mentioned. But hey, I’ve asked you all to stay out of here and you won’t so what do you expect?

 Hat tip to Eric of  What Eric Thinks for story lead

by Deputy Diva

As George W. Bush prepares to leave the White House, he seems to be leaving with delusions of gradeur that he has somehow been a ‘Civil Rights icon’ of our time.

The Washington Times reports that President Bush asserts that his own administration did “Much to empower minorities.” 

Umm, outside of giving Condoleeza Rice and Colin Powell jobs, exactly HOW???

He called the “No Child Left Behind education law “a piece of civil rights legislation” and saying his call to overhaul Social Security was aimed at giving blacks a greater stake in the nation’s future.”

“No Child Left Behind is a piece of civil rights legislation. And it’s going to be important for future Republican leaders to remind people that accountability in the public schools is leading toward closing an achievement gap, and that it was a Republican president who worked with both Democrats and Republicans to get it passed,” the president said in a 40-minute interview Friday.

Are you kidding me?  I know of two second graders this year, both in completely different school districts; one in an affluent one and the other in a not so affluent one, and both are struggling with reading. 

Guess what??  They are about to be LEFT BEHIND!.. to repeat the 2nd grade all over again.  I wound up buying them the Hooked on Phonics 2nd Grade Edition  for Christmas to hopefully prevent that from happening.

Mr. Bush, who leaves office in exactly 30 days, said he had worked hard throughout his eight years in office to lift minorities, in part by increasing homeownership and expanding opportunities for small businesses. But he said that the Republican Party will have to find new ways to persuade blacks and Hispanics that it is working in their best interests, citing his landmark bipartisan education bill to hold failing schools accountable as a prime example.  SOURCE

Can you explain to me how exactly minorities have benefited from homeownership under this administration when foreclosure is the highest it’s ever been in our nation and it has disproportionately affected minority communities?

It’s also laughable at how you want to help minorities own homes, but proudly purchased a $2.07 million in an area of Dallas, TX that excluded Blacks from living there until as recently as 2000. 

Until the CBS report, I didn’t even realize that places like this still exist in the good ole USA!   Click HERE & HERE.

And how about all the ‘help’ you gave to those minority owned business that have been forced to close their doors during this economic depression.  If big companies like AIG, Chrysler, Lehman Brothers and major law firms can’t survive, how can you reasonably expect the ‘little guy’ to make ends meet?

Perhaps that dude in Iraq was simply trying to knock some sense into you with his shoes, as you really don’t seem to have much these days.

By:  Lynn Green

HELLO?????

Knock – Knock

Anybody hiding in the closet?

Come out, please!

[silence]

I KNOW someone is hiding in the closet. Would you speak up, please?

[silence]

One of my earrings is missing. Somebody is wearing one of my earrings and I believe the person doing so is hiding out in the closet. Would you come out of the closet, please? Your game is up!

[silence]

Okay, I’m just going to open the closet door and FORCE whoever is in there wearing one of my very feminine earrings to come on out.

[sounds of someone scurrying to the back of the closet]

Hmmmmm…..sounds like a rodent in there!

[opening door]

I can’t see his face yet but he surely does have an expensive looking suit on and some $500 shoes and more jewelry on his fingers than I’ve ever seen on a man and…..what a huge belly he has. Surely has been eating well.  Ooh! That cologne…or is it perfume….is awfully strong!

[person covers his face]

So you are being stubborn, huh? OOPS! I just spotted my earring on your ear! I see a shining bald head. You look familiar. Either you take your hands down from your eyes or I’ll do it for you! Don’t make me get violent up in here!

[person uncovers face, knowing he's caught hiding in the closet]

My, my, my…..so my cousin was right about growing up with you in West Virginia, huh? He said that you were FLAMING and that the boys would pick on you and that he and a couple of other compassionate boys in the neighborhood would protect you. He said you showed zero interest in girls until you started to preach and knew you needed a wife as a cover as you moved along the preaching circles.

[man in closet looks like a deer caught in headlights]

I must give it to you, sir. You hid out well for years in the closet. But after your twin sons showed up on TBN wearing earrings in BOTH their ears and talking in a feminine voice, I guess you admired their boldness in coming out, huh?

[man in closet looks like the devil, knowing his mask has been pulled off]

And once it became obvious that your twins are pillow biters (well, one of them is flaming!) you softened your stance on homosexuality and started to engage in blaspheme.

HOW DARE YOU insinuate that King David was a homosexual. HOW DARE YOU part your filthy, vile lips to say that Naomi and her daughter-in-law, Ruth were lesbians. HOW DARE YOU blaspheme God like that.

Are you telling me that a daughter-in-law cannot make a vow to follow and protect her aging mother-in-law unless there is perversion involved? Only a pervert would see it that way.

And are you telling me that GOD—who said that King David was a man after His own heart, would go against His own Word by making a homosexual the star of the Old Testament? Do you think God is crazy? God said homosexuality is an abomination to His nostrils.

There was NOTHING gay about King David. Jonathan was his dearest friend and it did not go beyond that. Only a pervert would see homosexualty in such a sacred friendship.

GET OUT OF THAT CLOSET! Who do you think you’re fooling?

Source

By Lynn Green

“Pastor” Fields, congratulations! You have just added the beautiful state of South Carolina to Hicktown’s list of states producing pastors of questionable repute. What a dubious distinction and honor, sir!

Step on up here on HickTown’s Hotseat because I have a few questions to ask of you

Lynn: In light of the fact that you claim you are innocent of running a car theft ring (in between preparing sermons and preaching every Sunday)…uh….can you or would you please explain why it is that the titles to several stolen cars were found in your home?

During a search of Field’s home, police also found titles to two other vehicles they say he doesn’t own. But Fields says those titles don’t mean anything.

“Pastor” Fields – They went through some old paperwork, they found an old title that was folded up between some paperwork,” Fields said. “And a car that I purchased that I hadn’t even got yet. That’s it. Two pieces of paper, two titles. That’s it.”

Lynn: Okay, “Pastor”, you say that the titles just happened to be in your home? Well, why were they there? Are you a title collector?

“Pastor” Fields – “I have never stolen a car in my life”.

Lynn: Okay, but how do you explain the fact that several people went to the police and said that they purchased stolen cars from you? It is very possible that you have not personally stolen any cars. However, if you are directing others to steal the cars, you are equally as guilty. Are you aware of that?

“Pastor” Fields -

Fields says he’s nothing more than another victim who accidentally bought stolen vehicles. He says police are trying to pin all this on him because they can’t find the real suspect.

“Because they need to find this other person,” Fields said. “So, until they find him I guess they gonna come to me.”

Lynn: I’m scratching my head, “Pastor”. Why are you purchasing so many cars? And how is it that all of them just happen to be stolen?

Hey Hicktowners….Let’s send out a search posse to discover who exactly is stealing all these cars that the good “pastor” is buying and holding titles to!

In the interim, “Pastor”, until we find the culprits, I think it’s a good idea for you to keep sitting on Hicktown’s hotseat. After all, we all own cars and we need them so that we can get around. At least if we keep you on the hot seat, we know exactly where you are. No offense, “Pastor”, but Sheriff Lynn cannot afford to have a car “accidently” end up in your hands!

GO HERE to read entire article

Hat tip to Evangelist ET for story lead

NOTE: Every quote in the “interview” is directly from the newspaper article….however, my interview with the good “pastor” is satire.

 NOTE:  Reports are that this story is urban legend, but read it for fun anyhow.

For a while now, I’ve been hearing rumblings that the klan is backing Obama. I’ve even gotten tips from HickTowners telling me that the rumor is false. Check this story out and determine for yourself:

Imperial Wizard, Ronald Edwards has stated that, “anything is better than Hillary Clinton.”

White Christian Supremacist group the Ku Klux Klan has endorsed Barack Obama to be the next President of the United States of America.

Speaking from his Kentucky office in Dawson Springs, the Imperial Wizard exclaimed that anything or anyone is better than having that “crazy ass bitch” as President.

This is the first time in Klan history that any member of the KKK has ever publicly supported an African American candidate for the presidency.

KKK lodges all over America have been gathering and holding rallies supporting the black presidential candidate.

I’ll pause here and say that I find it so odd that white males don’t like Hillary. Obama has the white male vote in his pocket. What message are white males sending? Is it that they would prefer to be under the authority of a black man than a white woman? Interesting!

Grand Turk Cletus Monroe has also been very vocal about the election and has donated thousands of dollars to Obama’s election fund.

“The boy’s gonna do it. My Klan group has donated up to $250,000 to the Obama fund. Anything is better than Hillary Clinton. Hell I’ll even adopt a black kid from Africa before I vote for Hillary.”

Say what? Is having a white woman in office THAT serious to these dudes?

“A few years back we were lynching negroes. Now we’re gonna vote for one to be president of the US of motherfu**ing A, damn it! Anyone or anything is better than Hillary Clinton – anything!!”

Placards for Barack Obama have been put up around the Klan’s Headquarters and the KKK have announced a television ad campaign to support the African American candidate.

Well whippity doo dang dee!

SOURCE