WARNING: Some might find picture offensive. I’m making a point so the picture stands as is.

First of all, I am 100% in favor of interracial marriage. People have the right to fall in love an marry whomever they please. Love is difficult to find so if someone finds love, go for it.

Having said that, there is a segment of the black community—-and I’m addressing black males right now—-who target and actually prey on white women. Apparently these men have such low self esteem that they don’t believe they are whole until they have been with a white woman.

Check out Jesse Jackson, Jr. for example. He has a black, gorgeous, educated wife. They went through law school together and she stood by him when he was fat and out of shape. She stood by him when he had gastric bypass surgery.

Was this beautiful, educated black woman good enough for him? Apparently not. In THIS article, she discusses how shocked she was to discover that he had had an affair. She did not mention the race of the woman but I’m mentioning it because I believe he purposely went after the mistress. And why? because she has blonde hair and white skin.

It’s actually a sickness.

I’ll pause again and reiterate that I am in favor of interracial marriage when it happens naturally. What I find odd are people who target specific races of people to meet needs within themselves.

It’s no surprise or coincidence that the first thing many black men do when they get some money in their pockets is chase down a white woman. Actors, businessmen, sports stars, etc. chase down white women. And the woman in most cases is no where near as beautiful as the black woman on their arm—-or the black woman they rejected.

Why does it continue to happen? I believe it goes back to slavery days. White women were forbidden fruit. A black man could lose his testicles by simply “eyeballing” a white woman. In fact, it was referred to as Reckless Eyeballing and it was against the law. Look at poor Emmett Till. Lost his life for whistling at a white woman. And think about the thousands of nameless black men who suffered a similar fate.

One would think that after all this time, black men would have gotten over the forbidden fruit syndrome. But no, too many of them view white women as the ultimate. Tiger Woods found the whitest white woman he could find and she was not enough. So what did he do? His lust for white women could not be satisfied. He could not get enough of white women. He ravished as many as he could get his black hands on.

Men with the Tiger Woods mentality are not dating or marrying white women by happenstance. They are chasing those women down to satisfy something within themselves that is primal. And to me it’s sick. The white woman becomes a victim and that type of black man becomes a predator. They are dangerous with white women and I guarantee you that they do stuff to those women that they would not dream of doing to their own wives and would not want a man to do to their daughters! It’s a ravishing lust that cannot be satisfied.

Will it ever end—-this need that many black men have to find a white woman for status symbol purposes? Will that type of black man ever see their own mothers, aunts, grandmothers, cousins, sisters and daughters as anywhere near equal to white women? It has not happened since the days of slavery and I don’t see it happening any time soon.

Another really good article on this topic found HERE


  1. LOL. Lynn, you do make me laugh at times, your writing style. This article made me laugh and you are right of course.

    I think some people need to get past those low self-esteem issues. I always wondered about Tiger Woods, “Cablinasian” and the fact he cheated on his wife with something like 20 women. Apparently, his father cheated on his mother as well, so Tiger probably grew up thinking that that is the way to treat women. He has no self-respect and of course none for his former wife. I wonder why some men and women bother getting married when it is clear they still want to live the wild life. Obviously, they really don’t care who they hurt.

    In terms of black men going out and finding white women to marry specifically, it all has a lot to do with slavery mentality and low self-esteem. Same as a black person who only goes for “light skin” and no other shade of black, there are esteem issues and not having pride in self, this is how I would describe it. There is nothing wrong with dating and marrying whoever you like, but another thing that makes me wonder is some black celebrities and others who think they can’t or won’t get ahead and be successful until they have married someone who is white and feel that a black person is not good enough for them. What’s up with that?

    It’s a shame really.

  2. You couldn’t find an interracial couple with clothes on? I could care less what’s going on in someone else’s household. Why focus on just black men and white women? This type of behavior occurs within many different groups.

  3. I totally agree with you Lynn. I don’t have a problem with interracial couples; there are three such couples within my family. I believe that when a black man refuses to even entertain the notion of dating a black woman, that’s a mental sickness. That is self loathing and obviously derived from that slave mentality. I really have a problem with black men who think that black women are not good enough to publicly share their life and wealth yet that same black man will support a white woman and all of her relatives happily. In some cases it’s not even a quality white woman that he chooses; just a meek and docile one. As a milk chocolate black woman, I’m embarrassed by those particular black men and very proud to be married to a black man who was smart enough to see me and not my skin color!

  4. Purple,

    I felt that the picture captured perfectly what it is that black men are after so I used it. I like to mix it up here with controversy so I warned folks that this picture may offend some. However, the truth is sometimes offensive.

    This article is not about other groups. It is specifically making a point about black men chasing down white women—-not truly for love, but for sex and as a way to deal with their own personal mental weaknesses and self esteem.

  5. Sarah said ” I believe that when a black man refuses to even entertain the notion of dating a black woman, that’s a mental sickness.”


  6. Lynn, Great points. I agree this will not change.

    If a man’s mind is that corrupted against bw, then he needs stay as far away from us as possible. Far away. Imagine the disdain he will eventually feel for his black wife, baby momma and possibly black daughters. Which is his own image. I say, let them have each other. Those white or whatever women know what they are getting when THEY target the wealthy black man i.e. Kardashian xxl booty types. I would guess most of these black men discussions about black women behind closed doors is not good. What we are seeing now is the results of their thinking.

    My concern lies with black girls that they do not see this as a reflection of their beauty, intelligence and worth. And they understand they have options to choose mentally healthy men who adore them and not colorist, racist, mysognistic men who despise them.

  7. I’ve noticed a trend in my area, where very attractive black men are taking up with morbidly obese white women. I don’t have any issues with any interracial relationship and believe that people should love whomever they wish. I began to get curious though when I started to see so many of these men with these morbidly obese and sloppily dressed women. Black women are usually taught that men are visual creatures and like what they see. I wanted to know what was it about these women that attracted these black men when there are some obese sistahs, who at least keep a much neater appearance. A male friend of mine shared with me that it is typically because the morbidly obese white woman has money and will ‘buy’ the man’s affection. In exchange, she is usually so grateful that she has a man, a good looking one at that, that she will allow him to degrade her and use her sexually all for the sake boosting her self esteem by saying that she has a man. It’s very sad, but I wish that people would go into relationships period without looking at what they can gain from the other person.

  8. I live in a state (AZ) where interracial marriage is the norm. Not that we have many blacks here because we don’t, but even still, most black males i see here are with black women. However, there are towns one can go to here out west where black/white marriage is so common that you’re shocked when you actually see two black people together. Portland and Seattle especially.

    Thing is, black men and black women simply don’t relate to each other like they once did IMO. Black women are on the move….ambitious, getting educated, and goal oriented. Not all, mind you, but on the whole, they’re certainly more serious than my brothers are these days.

    As for my brothers, i don’t know what the heck they’re thinking about these days. The word “frivolity” is the first thing that comes to mind. Unfocused and irresponsible comes to mind too. A lot of this is the result of us going on our 2nd generation of black men who grew up in female dominated households without a responsible man in sight as an example of what a man should be. You can by all the cars, clothes, and jewelry you want to make up for a lack of self-esteem, but it won’t work. And let me make it abundantly clear that i’m not talking about all of my brothers. But we all know some brothers that fit into the category that i’m talking about.

    Now just imagine these two people trying to get together to make it work and you don’t have to wonder why so many black/black relationships fail. And i haven’t even mentioned the other baggage that we tend to bring to relationships that doom things before they even get off the ground.

    Me personally…i’m more physically attracted to black women more than anything else. But i can tell you from experience (since i dated in and out of my race), my relationships with black women have always been tougher for some reason, though i definitely had a few black girlfriends who were wife material. However, a lot of sisters just had too darn much baggage for me. I’m a drama free person. I like having a peace of mind.

    That said…i don’t understand brothers who only go after any women BUT a black woman. Don’t know what that’s all about. Yea, i know in the 60’s and 70’s that was some sort of status symbol, but not anymore. And if you’re looking for a white woman who is as one poster said before “meek and docile,” you can forget that. In my experience, most white women won’t take anymore foolishness than a black woman will. As for brothers dating obese white women, i most definitely don’t get that either. But admittedly, most brothers i see doing that aren’t exactly winners themselves so it is what it is on that front.

  9. I love the comment, “You couldn’t find a couple with clothes on?” That is the funniest thing, but I do see the authors point. This is a very interesting article and I have to agree to some extent. However, I think we have to keep in mind that it could also be a matter of preference. Soulmates come in all sizes, shapes and colors you know.

    We recently launched a blog, Racy JC that focuses on dating within different races and cultures (Asian, Black, Indian, Jewish, Latino, among others) and approaches these issues in a new, honest, real, and non-PC way. Please check it out! Racy JC

    social media: jcdaviesauthor

  10. I just came out of a relationship with a black man who wanted to change me into a white woman: colored contacts, weaves, skin lightening, etc. He wanted a white or Asian woman with my personality. He was also concerned about having children with me because he wanted to have kids who can stand out in the rain watching a soccer game without their hair shrinking into a ball. My self-esteem took a blow; but what made me take a walk into singlehood was the thought of what would happen if we had a child together. I couldn’t imagine having children with a father who didn’t love himself deeply enough. I always read about such men, and until I met this one, I didn’t know how damaging these issues could be to a black woman.

  11. Are the Black men chasing the blonds? Or are the blonds chasing the Black men? I once dated a guy who did not play pro football (he played in college), but he had a few friends who did play pro football, and all of us went to a restaurant/bar one night…. the white girls recognized one player, assumed they were all players, and SWARMED like bees– they were as aggressive as starving wolves. (He warned me before we went but I really didn’t understand how bad it would be until we got there.)

    One blond chick stepped all over my foot to get to the guy I was with, despite the fact he was holding my hand, and the heffa had the nerve to reach for his hand anyway. He backed her up and told her he was there with me but the wench looked at me like I was paint on the wall, and kept pushing herself on him. She didn’t get it until I grabbed her hand and gripped it so hard her ears turned red. Then she looked at me like I was wrong. None of those ball players had white girlfriends but I know a couple of them were taking whatever the girls offered.

    The other sister with the group who was there with her pro ball playing man told me she hates going out with the group because this happens all the time– they’ll recognize one player and swarm the whole group. She said she almost came to blows on more than one occasion because of how rude and disrespectful the women are– she once left her seat at the dinner table and she turned around to see a blond headed to the table with her phone number in her hand. She also told me that even in more formal circles, the white attorneys and talent agents invite their white female cousins and other family members to dinner or to their homes and introduce them to the top players…..

  12. White women want to be worshipped, not loved. That is why they want a black man. The white man, at the top of this society does not worship his white woman. He provides and outwardly respects her.

    In the world of sports, white women want an easy payday. Marriage to a dumb black jock, two unkempt kids, then a 50/50 divorce from him after he finishes playing which is a huge windfall for them.

    White women do this with other cultures/races, but the men in other races don’t carry that extreme self-hate that black men do. That is why white women usually convert to a religion, way of dress, and cultural norm if they want to marry an Indian, Pakistani, Chinese, etc. With a black man, she doesn’t have to surrender her white privilege, if anything, it is enhanced.

    I think the underlying objective for black men with white women, is to create a whole new race. The sad thing is though, many of these interracial marriages don’t last. All children need their parents, but especially if dad is black, he needs to be around. Sadly, most of the time he isn’t.

    God doesn’t make mistakes. It is the height of hubris to try and erase the black race and create a “new” race based on self-hate and mesmorization by another race.

    Now thsi pertains to black men who are into women. Some use white women to get to the ultimate power broker: to sleep with a white man.

    But that’s another topic. See ya on the Eddie Long thread

  13. “God doesn’t make mistakes. It is the height of hubris to try and erase the black race and create a “new” race based on self-hate and mesmorization by another race.”

    Wow. That’s pretty strong language right there!!


  15. What evidence is there that white women largely prefer worship over love?

  16. I do not believe its forbidden fruit syndrome. I believe black men, rather lie to themselves constantly. When a black men is with a white woman, he can hide, himself, his pain, his conscience, his fear, his weakness, and sell it as bravado. she cant call him on his bullsht. because she doesnt know his heart, where he comes from, where he is going mentally, spirtually and emotionally. she cant confront him when he is being less then real with his self, because she has no clue when this is happening. as far a sista, she knows, when her man is hurting from a childhood trauma of maybe not knowing his father, she knows because she been thru it to, she knows when his pride is hurt because someone has treated him like a object instead of a MAN!! she knows because this happens to her to, she knows when life is getting to him and he begans to do things that is not conducive to his mental, spirtual, and emotional, she knows because she has to fight thru that too… a white woman does not know anything inside of him other than his sperm count. a sista represents everything he hates, loaths and despises.. HISSSS SELF!!! His culture, the black traditions, the black struggle, soul food, nappy headed children, that get their hair braided on sunday morning, the black preaching, holy ghost catching church. He hates it so deeply, he seperates himself from it, A WHITE woman.. she doesnt need a perm, or get braids or weaves. She doesnt know who the hell JJ from the goodtimes is. Slavery to her is a brief moment in the history books, his kids will have thin noses, and naurally straight hair. Yeah she is a perfect hiding place for such a weak brotha.. The perfect camaflouge for self hatred!!!!

  17. Armani,

    That’s so deep I’m just going to keep my mouth shut. Great points.

  18. ^^^That’s assuming a whole lot. Bottom line is if he or she is happy, that’s all that matters. This life is too short to be miserable with ANYBODY!! If a brother or sister finds happiness with someone of another race, then so be it. I’ve seen tons of black self hate perpetuate itself within plenty of black male/black female relationships that i know of. Much of it right in my own family.

  19. @DD: correction taken. Not all white women want to be worshipped, but I do believe that a LARGE MAJORITY WANT TO BE WORSHIPPED because we are in a media saturated society and the false pedastal of white womanhood is part of white privilege. That subconscious message is and always has been: Free, white and over the age of 21 and every man on this earth wants you.

    Many white women fall for this and try to structure their lives into this.
    Have you ever seen how white American/English women act in non-white countries? With complete and total carefree abandon and sexual freedom.

    Any episode of Sex and the City demonstrates the whole worship thing.

    Real talk, you laid it down.

  20. DD, I understand where Armani is coming from. I cannot speak for Armani, but I DO believe in interracial marriage.

    However, my concentration was on a certain segment that don’t just meet another person naturally or by happenstance. They target certain racial groups and oftentimes it’s not a good thing. It’s to satisfy a fantasy, lust, perversion, pay-back, or to set that person up as a status symbol.

    BTW….I’ve also written about a group of black women who were purposely targeting white men because they had convinced themselves that white men were the panacea to their problems.

  21. I understand where he’s coming from too. And i don’t disagree with some of what he has to say.

    But yea, i just can’t understand why some brothers will date white women to the exclusion of everything else. I think Armani delineates a lot of the reasons for it.

  22. Wow…….Why is it that everytime a black man goes after a white woman he has a mental illness? Mabye the question should be: Why is it everytime a black man goes after a white women, people are so offended by it? Who cares? You should never compare yourself to another person based on RACE period! Maybe some black guys are attracted to white woman, just like some black women are attracted to white men and some white men are attracted to black women. Are they ALL mentally ill? Maybe Jesse James Jr. cheated on his wife because his marriage sucked? You don’t know what went on behind his closed doors. People get divorced every day in America. People have affairs all the time. Your article continues the ignorance of rasicm. The only reason you are so up in arms about his affair is because the woman he cheated with is WHITE?? So would it have been better if he cheated on his wife with a more beautiful black woman? Grow up! It’s not 1950. I am white and one of my best friends is black and we both think your article is ridiculous. You should be disgusted by the fact Jesse had an AFFAIR! not that she was WHITE!! Even Jesse’s wife had the intellegence and grace not to make the woman’s race a factor……….if she had been black it would have still been insulting and hurtful. Leave race out of it!!

  23. Correction: Jesse Jackson Jr……sorry……Jesse James wasn’t any better for cheating on Sandra Bullock but we aren’t talking about them because they were both white…………….go figure.

  24. LYNN’s RESPONSE to “Shelly”:

    Two things that the members of this blog are NOT responsible for:

    (1) Dumb people

    (2) Dumb people who don’t comprehend what they read

    Clearly you fall under #2.

    In my article I said CLEARLY:

    …….there is a segment of the black community—-and I’m addressing black males right now—-who target and actually prey on white women. Apparently these men have such low self esteem that they don’t believe they are whole until they have been with a white woman.

    Which part of that very clear statement did you NOT understand? I was clear that the article is specifically about a subset of black men who target white women as prey.

    I ALSO opened by saying:

    First of all, I am 100% in favor of interracial marriage. People have the right to fall in love an marry whomever they please. Love is difficult to find so if someone finds love, go for it.

    Within the body of the article I was CLEAR that I was specifically addressing black men who prey on white women and I said that that segment of black men have an “illness”. I stand by that because ALL predators are sick in the head.

    Furthermore, I can discuss anything I want on a blog that I pay for out of my own pocket and OWN. If you have a problem with that, stay off my blog—-you and your pal.

    Come in here again with that mess, and I’ll ban out of here.


  25. Postcards in WinterTime

    Some white chase after brothers obviously…

    Some black men want a woman who will put up with their crap & not hold their feet to the fire!

    Some black men totally self-loathe, and therefore they seek escapism from reality

    Some black men buy into the myth that white women are the standard of beauty, when they’re NOT!

    Some black men can’t be REAL MEN, and therefore can’t handle REAL SIS’TAS!

  26. There is a young 17 year old black man that I know who is gay.
    Doesn’t like girls sexually at all.
    But he looks like a piece of ebony wood art sculpture from Nigeria.
    A young Sidney Poitier black prince if you will.
    But get this!!!
    All of his friends seem to be young model looking white girls.
    Now he is by no stretch of the imagination…
    flirting with these young women from afar with some over sexed-related agenda.
    But these girls are drawn to him like bees to honey.
    It’s phenomenal to observe and kinda fun to set your watch to.
    I think when I see young 17 year old black men with 17 year old white girls..
    I feel their attraction to one another HAS NOTHING TO DO with some long forgotten taboo from post Civil War 1865, a political vendetta, a need to separate themselves from black girls or a chest busting badge of accomplishment…..
    signifying one’s sudden celebrity & fame…..
    matched with boatloads of NBA money.
    Nine times outta ten the girl gives the boy the eye and starts this whole ball rolling anyway.
    I believe it has to do with something truly basic, human and innocent….
    it’s the attraction of a distant man to a distant world and a distant woman..
    something novels are written about and dreams are made of.
    Like the Italian explorer Marco Polo experienced in ancient China.
    Nothing sinister, rebellious or political.
    Just basic young “opposites attract” lust.
    Then if enough time has passed and they enjoy each other’s company….
    and each other’s obvious interfering opposing families….
    They’ll choose to go steady.
    It’s that simple…
    it’s not rocket science….
    and it’s kinda God affirming…
    So get ready for it New Millennium world…
    young black men will date white, latin, middle eastern and asian girls.
    this is the future of planet earth.
    Just watch Star Trek!!

  27. I just can’t let this go without saying anything. Armani, “all that you say is true, but all that is true you do not say.” As rational human beings, “we do what we have to do so we can do what we want to do.” Life is too short; if it takes for a black man to be with a white woman for the reasons you stated for this man not to resent his family for life; so be it! It doesn’t matter what you do in this world, somehow it will botter other people. People can say whatever they want, but at the end of the day, under the blanket, for the rest of your life, it will be just you and her. In short, live your life and get with whoever you want, because ultimately, “the heart wants what it wants.”

  28. @Shelly…I wondered how long it would take a white girl to get on here and miss the whole point. lol Never fails. Anyway I stand by my first comment ” I believe that when a black man refuses to even entertain the notion of dating a black woman, that’s a mental sickness”. And I have no problem with interracial dating, love or marriage.