by Lynn Green
There is an interracial blog that has been receiving a great deal of press recently—mainly due to how controversial it is. I won’t give the blog’s address but its owner calls herself “Evia”.
Spinning of the Tale
Evia claims that she was once married to a black man and that the man was good to her. Further, she says that her marriage was a happy one. What she does not explain is why it is that in spite of a happy marriage, she ended up divorced. She also fails to explain her open hostility towards black men. According to her story, she divorced her black husband and married a white man. She claims that her marriage to her white husband is nothing short of blissful and she uses her blog to encourage other black women to give up all hopes of marrying a black man in favor of searching out and marrying a white man or man of any race other than black.
Attacking Your Own
I’ll pause here. There is actually only one “race”. That’s the human race. Within the human race there are varying ethnicities and cultures. I have no issues with interracial marriage. I believe that life is short, love is hard to find. And if you find someone to love who loves you also, go for it. I want to make that perfectly clear. What I do have a problem with, however, is people who—after marrying outside of their group, turning around and attacking other members of their group. Soooooo, let’s look at Robert DeNiro for example. He is the white, Italian actor who is famous for hopping from one black woman to the next—even marrying a couple of them along the way. He was in the news a few years back because his most recent black wife attacked him after having caught him engaged in sex with another woman while they were on vacation, on a boat. Okay?
In spite of his issues, the thing that I respect most about DeNiro is that when he is questioned about his long standing preference for black women, he keeps the subject on black women. NEVER have I heard him publicly attack white women or Italian women. Never. I respect him for that.
It really bothers me when I hear people such as the insane Dennis Rodman verbally attacking black women. The truth of the matter is, he is certainly no gift to white women or any other type of woman. But he is not the only one. Many black men who date non-black women somehow feel a need to verbally assault black women. One would think that out of respect for the women in their own families, they would keep such hateful thoughts to themselves.
Damaged Goods
Back to Evia. If she has a preference for white men, I see no problem with that. Every woman has the right to pick and choose her own mate. Where I part company with her and her ilk is in the fact that while she claims that no black man has ever hurt her, she says the most offensive things about black men. For example, she claims that most black men are “Damaged beyond repair”. She refers to “normal” black men as “Evolved”. I can’t help but wonder why she feels an obligation to put such labels on black men, showing a true disdain for them? If she is happy with her white husband, one would think she would simply go through life gleefully enjoying his love. Why keep dragging black men into her fantasies and yarn spinning? Don’t black men as a whole have enough problems already?
Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing
Anyone who follows my regular website (christianwomen.net) knows that I have been encouraging women for years to stay clear of what I refer to as “Wolfmen”. No explanation is needed regarding what a wolfman is. At no time, however, have I ever put a complexion, ethnicity, culture or race on a “wolfman”. You know why? Because wolves come in all colors! Don’t tell me that there aren’t some white, Indian, Asian and Latino wolves out there.
White women get beaten and murdered regularly by white men. Many Middle Eastern women are afraid to speak up or disagree with their husbands for fear of being either beaten or even killed. Latino women end up in hospitals all over this country on a daily basis, beaten by Latino men. And yes, there are some Asian and Indian men also who at times are abusive verbally and physically. Do I say this to defend black men? No.
I’ve blogged about black men who keep the “no snitching” nonsense going in black communities. I’ve blogged about black rappers who call black women some of the most offensive names. I don’t cover anybody. I’m saying that it is an absolute lie to insinuate or say directly that black males are the only group of men out there who at times are mentally and/or physically abusive towards women.
White Male Panacea?
Are white men the cure for all that ails black women? I’ll go out on a limb and say “no”. Abusive men and good men are in every racial, ethnic and socioeconomic group. The only abusive black men I know are the ones I see on t.v. or on the streets. I’ve never chosen to put myself in the company of any man who has presented a negative or wolf-like character trait. I was careful in choosing a husband. My black husband is one of the kindest, most gentle men I know. Women need to take on the personal responsibility of picking and choosing the character of man she wants to deal with. And race has nothing to do with it.
Case in point:
The beautiful black socialite, Lita Sullivan married a wealthy white man from Palm Beach, Florida named James Sullivan. Not only did he treat her like dirt—and tried to have her live like a pauper despite his vast wealth, he was also abusive towards her. So much so that she attempted to divorce him. And look what happened:
January 16, 1987 at approximately 8:15 a.m., Sullivan hired Phillip Harwood to kill his wife, Lita. Lita lived in a condominium in the Buckhead community of Atlanta, Georgia. She answered her front door that morning to find Harwood posing as a flower delivery man. Police say when Lita opened the door, Harwood shot her in the head with a 9mm semi-automatic pistol killing her instantly.Police say Philip Harwood fingered James Sullivan for Lita’s death.According to officials, Lita and Sullivan were involved in a turbulent divorce which entailed a large settlement of money on Lita’s behalf.Source
Are there some good white men out here? Of course there are. And many interracial marriages are happy, thank goodness. But let’s not demonize black men. If we are not saying that some white men are “damaged beyond repair”, why would we say that about black men? And if we are not referring to normal white men as “evolved”, why put such an offensive label on black men. Are black men gorillas in the eyes of people like Evia? Evolved? What type of label is that to put on a human being? I shudder to think what feelings she has about the black men in her own family?
Conclusion
In conclusion, you can date and marry whomever you so choose as long as you are happy and comfortable with your choice. If you prefer someone of a culture or ethnicity other than your own, there is nothing wrong with that. However, don’t attack your own people in the process of choosing to be with someone of another group. There is something really sick about that.
People such as Evia are starting a movement to encourage black women to date white men. That’s fine as long as the black women who go for it understand that if white men were perfect, there would not be so many white male serial killers. If white men were perfect, 50% – 60% of their marriages would not be ending in divorce. If white men were perfect, there would be fewer of them engaged in adultery. If white men were perfect, we would not keep seeing news broadcasts of white women missing—having been murdered and buried by their own white boyfriends and husbands.
Let’s just keep it real, folks.
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This was an excellent Article. I agree one hundred percent, that love comes in all colors. No one if perfect. It’s so sad that people are mistreated, used, or even killed.If it’s truly love, why not work at it. Love is an action word not a feeling. Because I love you, I am willing to do for you. The feelings come as a result of that.I believe without a doubt, when we are a new creature in Christ Jesus and the Holy Spirit in the drivers seat, we have a bigger chance at loving people with the right motives.Keep up the good Articles, it’s encouraging along the way to read good down to earth, not covered up stories. God Bless
Thanks! Happy you got something positive from the article.
Lynn Green
This comes from youtube.com
Juanita bynum at mentorship conference
titled “was bishop weeks set up?”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uXTbZMb9tU
titled “juanita bynum threatens husband with a brick”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzgF5Ho5a1E
we need to pray for them both
NOTE FROM LYNN: GSS, thanks for your contribution; however, please note that the video has already been placed on this site. Also, we’ve been told a trillion times to pray for the two of them.
I think this was a very excellent article. There are so many decisions that we as Christian women have to make today. Times are getting crazier due to the fact that we are in the last days.
But I am glad you wrote this article, I would hate for women to go out and think that a particular race is the answer only to find out that they are wrong and become even more distraught than before.
Great ARTICLE
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